In the course of a busy day, filled with details and information and social cues, the child with ADHD can be anticipated to:

• lose focus
• become distracted
• not hear an instruction
• not copy the full assignment before it is erased from the board
• not remember a message that didn’t seem important or relevant at the time.

When directly confronted, the child feels embarrassed, upset at being caught and ashamed to be judged as inadequate.  It may seem to the child that the most expedient solution (not the best solution) is to quickly make something up, to create a plausible answer as an excuse.  Is she lying to gain some advantage or reward? Not necessarily. The instinct for self-preservation is a fundamental human survival mechanism.  And sometimes, impulsively making up an answer is the child’s rudimentary attempt to save face.

Peter Jaksa, Ph.D. points out that “for children with ADHD, lying is often a coping mechanism, albeit a counterproductive one. A lie may be a way to cover up forgetfulness, to avoid criticism or punishment, or to avoid dealing with feelings of guilt and shame over repeated failures.”

Uncontrolled ADHD can often masquerade as dishonesty.

Dishonesty often manifests as a coping mechanism used by children with ADHD.  These are the kids who typically get in more trouble due to impulsive speech and behavior.  In addition, future consequences are just not on their radar, as they exist in the world of ‘now’.  They are always trying to catch up on life (missed instructions, missed assignments, missed chores, missed messages, missed next step, missed social cues).

ADHD does NOT cause lying, but lying can be part of the fall-out caused by uncontrolled ADHD.

Does any of this give permission to the ADHD child to lie? Absolutely NOT!  Parents and teachers should help these children become attuned to the situations where a made-up answer is likely to erupt and together develop strategies that can help minimize the opportunity for such behavior. 

Often the choice of words used by the adult sets the tone for the rest of the conversation.  Consider that sometimes rephrasing the question can help ameliorate the child’s inclination to make-up a reply.

Tommy consistently does not complete homework assignments.  He believes that he copies instructions correctly from the board, but in reality does not.  Instead of asking (accusing) him, “Didn’t you copy the assignment?” try telling him to check what he copied.  This gives him a chance to find his mistakes. 

Any student, ADHD or not, may balk and lie at what may be perceived as a ‘gotcha’ moment.  If you already suspect that the copied instructions were inaccurate, perhaps due to:

• environmental distraction
• haste looking back and forth from board to paper
• slow handwriting
• challenge shifting focus of attention,

CHADD recommends that it may be more instructive to ask, “Did you have enough time to see what was on the board?”  You avoid the lie and instead get to the root of the problem.

Before branding a child as a liar, consider that one of the roots of ADHD is the disruption of executive function skills.  This results in impaired organization, record keeping, and sense of time. Children with ADHD are notoriously forgetful. They also have difficulty understanding instructions, especially if these are given quickly and involve several steps. This may lead to misinterpretations.

ADDers look like everyone else. There is no physical feature to distinguish them from others not thereby impaired. As a matter of fact, ADD’ers will go out of their way to appear normal.  In some cases, children might lie in an attempt to hide their symptoms. But lying does not automatically come with ADHD.  On the other hand, misunderstanding, misinterpreting and forgetting, are all common traits in these children.

Not telling the truth, when confronted with a ‘gotcha moment’ is still not OK, but it is understandable.  In this context, the ADHD child is NOT exhibiting signs of moral failing, nor giving evidence of a compulsive lying condition or oppositional defiant disorder.  This child requires our compassion and our guidance in ways that help him or her get to the crux of the cause for the protective lie being told.  We, and by that I mean parents, educators, physicians, counselors, therapists, coaches, all should hear the ‘misspeak’ as the child’s juvenile attempt to cover up the shame and embarrassment of uncontrolled ADHD symptoms.

Professionals at CHADD remind us that getting to the source of the reason the child has lied is essential. The adults who teach and nurture children with ADHD must understand that these children will frequently not perform as well as their peers and that, unless there is an additional disorder, they are neither lazy nor willfully defiant, and they are just as likely to want to succeed as their peers.

Lying is not acceptable behavior even if it is to protect the self from embarrassment or punishment.  Reward honesty, it is always the best policy.  When children hear an adult tell a ‘white lie’ they become confused, so be an honest role model yourself!

It is our job as caring adults to make sure that ADHD children receive the help that they need, be it therapy, medication, executive function coaching.  First and foremost we should educate ourselves about the causes and symptoms of ADHD, and the fall-out that often accompanies the disorder.   Start here with these links specific to the issue of dishonesty employed as a coping mechanism by ADHD children:

Two great articles by Peter Jaksa, Ph.D.  http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/882.html  and  http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/5705.html  as well as an article by Jerome J. Schultz, Ph.D.  http://school.familyeducation.com/add-and-adhd/lying/42736.html?detoured=1

The National Resource Center on AD/HD can be reached at their website www.help4adhd.org  This website features What We Know information sheets and additional links for resources.  Parenting a Child with AD/HD (WWK2):  http://www.help4adhd.org/en/living/parenting/WWK2 is a good place to begin.

www.CHADD.org and the archives of  www.ADDITUDEMAG.com are both great places to find information.

Remember this is a marathon, not a race.  Spend the time necessary to build your team of supporters.  Share resources with others whom you feel could benefit from the knowledge.  People who have “the lived experience” and professionals who work with these children understand that parenting and classroom strategies for children with ADHD are based on a different paradigm than the typical child.

Best wishes for a Happy New Year,

Debbie

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!  AAP Updates ADHD Guidelines for Children ages 4-18

Until this month, parents of pre-schoolers who ‘knew’ that their family needed help were simply told that it was not possible to identify ADHD in a child that young.  They were told that all children develop at different paces, all special in their own way, and that even the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) didn’t recognize ADHD in children under the age of 6!  They were admonished to be “better parents”, to be more organized, more disciplined, more consistent at home.

Previous AAP guidelines published in 2000 and 2001 covered children from only ages 6-12.  Parents who lived with a hyperactive or daydreaming pre-schooler knew what the experts wouldn’t yet confirm, until now, that indeed AD/HD is observable in children as young as 4 years old.   Now, thanks to new guidelines released this month by the AAP, parents seeking help for their children from ages 4-18 can be provided with the tools and become part of the team along with pediatricians,therapists, and teachers who can follow the newly formulated guidelines for assessment, diagnosis and treatment of ADHD.

Parents of pre-schoolers were previously advised to eliminate foods, get excercise, get sleep, set more routines, give more hugs. These are all noble suggestions that can benefit any busy young family.  But parents of ADHD children know that they can talk ’til they are blue in the face, and if their child’s brain chemicals aren’t zinging in response, there’s no end to the battles that can ensue.

While no one is reccomending an automatic jump to medication before trying behavioral interventions first, especially with the very young child, it will be a welcome relief to the parents of pre-school aged children to at least be able to acknowledge that there is a reason for their child’s disposition and behavior.  Just knowing that their child is not deliberately behaving in ways contrary to the parents’ house-rules can have an enormous impact on that family.  Being able to say, “It’s the ADHD” instead of  ”she’s such a bad kid, and is totally disrespecting my parental authority” can lighten the family’s load, and at the same time change the tone of the messages that the child infers about herself from being constantly re-directed.

The new guidelines are part of a report being published in the November 2011 issue of Pediatrics, whose lead author Mark Wolraich, MD, FAAP
says, “Treating children at a young age is important, because when we can
identify them earlier and provide appropriate treatment, we can increase their
chances of succeeding in school.”  Dr.Wolraich also offers for consideration that, “Because of greater awareness about ADHD and better ways of diagnosing and treating this disorder, more children are being helped.”

Information for parents is available at www.healthychildren.org/adhd and
a new 2011 edition of the book entitled ADHD: What Every Parent Needs to
Know can be purchased from that website.

Pediatricians have lots of children’s health issues to keep up with.  If your pediatrician hasn’t heard about the new ADHD guidelines that include children as young as 4 years old, you may suggest that s/he contact the AAP to request the newly revised and updated ADHD toolkit for healthcare providers that is being released to concide with the latest research report published in the November 2011 issue of the AAP journal Pediatrics.

Debbie

~Debbie

Singapore Math teaches for ‘mastery’ not just ‘familiarity.’  Students delve deeper into understanding how numbers relate to each other; what it
feels like to be a group of 10 that can be broken down into (or built up to
from) smaller groups that have an always relationship. Students don’t just memorize that 5 + 5 = 10.  Rather they use the concept of number bonds to illustrate WHY 5 + 5 always equals 10.  They learn to TRUST that fact.  They develop “automaticity”, and demonstrate it through repetition.

Children challenged by ADHD are frequently admonished for making careless mistakes.  “Did you check your work?” “You rushed!” “You didn’t pay attention.”  All of these repeated messages reinforce to the student that he or she needs to work slower, to double and triple check answers on tests, to be meticulous,

to not trust that you got it right the first time, because you already have a reputation for making ‘careless mistakes.’

In the Singapore curriculum, students are tested on what they know, not just what they can remember.  Children and adults with ADHD know that they shouldn’t trust their memory all the time, and with good reason.  But they can learn to trust what they know!  Singapore Math teaches them how to be more than just human calculators.  They learn to trust the stories of automaticity.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I went into my AEPA proficiency test last month with new-found confidence just a few weeks following my initial training in Singapore Math.  I trusted more what I knew to be a fact.  I trusted that I knew WHY an answer was right.   In case anyone wondered, I PASSED, and I was very pleased with my more-than-respectable showing in Math.

An additional follow-up to last month’s post is due some mention here as well.  That column described some of the test-taking strategies that I employed, one of which was eating properly for both body and mind.  Since the blog was long enough, I didn’t go into detail about the dietary choices that I made, figuring that would be my blog topic another day.  But I don’t need to write it!  Coincidently, soon after taking the exam, I had time to read  Raising Arizona Kids August 2001 issue which printed an article by Dr. Sanford J. Silverman, Ph.D, entitled “Brain Foods for Kids.”  It’s all there.

~Wishing readers light-bulb moments and coincidences in abundance.

Debbie

Yay!

There’s just one more thing that we need you to do, take a test.

Gulp~

I hadn’t taken a high-stakes standardized test in 32 years. As a matter of fact, I’ve gone out of my way to make sure that I haven’t had to.  In college, I chose courses where a term paper was the graded event and not an in-class exam.  I didn’t go to law school because just the thought of the LSAT or the Bar exam was enough to throw me into a cold sweat.  I’ve made important life choices based on what option would allow me to indulge my fear of test-taking.

Over the years, this fear morphed into me being stuck when asked to fill in a form especially if it required manipulating numbers.  Fortunately, over the years I had obliging employees who would get forms started for me (ok, they would sometimes complete them), or organize the numerical information for me so that then I could make executive decisions using it.  And, I’ve been fortunate to have friends who can mentally split the restaurant bill three ways. Thank you (I think).

Let’s get something straight. I’m smart.  As an adult, I can recognize that, and yet I have never felt confident working with numbers since the 3rd grade.  Insert here my roll-off-the-tongue quip: “Scarred at an early age by a timed rote Math test.” As an adolescent, I thought that anyone who could do Math fast or in their head was smarter and better prepared for life.  So when my new employer said that I needed to take a test, my first reaction was “oh @#$%&” and a flash back to Mr. Shacht, my 11th grade Algebra teacher.

Bless his heart, he found me in a state of tearful panic during midterms when my mind drew a complete blank. I had over-studied and was over-wrought, even going to the wrong room.  He helped me “remember” three formulas, and I was able to complete (not necessarily correctly) ten out of the sixty problems.  On the day that grades were returned, he called me up to his desk and said, sheepishly, “I did the best I could for you…I gave you a D on the final.”  He let me pass.  He didn’t fail me. To this day I am grateful to him for that compassionate gift.

FAST
FORWARD TO EARLIER THIS MONTH when I opened the online study
guide to begin my preparations for the elementary education proficiency exam I
would take in one week.  Hmmm, no familiar flush of panic.  I read the introduction which provided some really good test-taking strategic advice.
Hmmm, so far, so good.  I got up from my seat and took a brief break.  I sat back down and read about the objectives of the test which would examine all aspects of everything that every elementary school student should know in 2011.
I quickly realized that this was more than the material of my ancient high
school education, every subject including Social Studies, the Sciences,
Geography, Algebra, Geometry, Music and Art.

Still, no panic.   I studied and breaked for the rest of the week. Studying meant that I took notes about what I was reading/learning in the exam guide. I set some interim goals like when to complete certain portions or subjects.  Sometimes the goal was a clock time or a time of day.  I met every one of my goals!  That meant that every day I felt like a success.  I had accomplished what I set out to do. It did not mean that I had memorized or learned everything perfectly; but, I knew where to find the information.  Taking the time to handwrite section sub-headings and brief notes made tangible brain connections for me.

DURING MY STUDY WEEK, I added in an extra yoga class to balance out being sedentary, and I enjoyed various meals out with friends.  I woke up early (good morning brain), stayed up late (good late night brain), and napped on the couch in between study shifts.  I chewed gum or trail mix and crunchy crackers. I also played the piano and sang really loudly when I could feel fatigue setting in.  One day I got a lot of studying accomplished for couple of hours while in the waiting room of a doctor’s office where I had driven a friend; the background hum blocked out internal distractions.

I swore off caffeine and wine to preserve my middle-aged brain cells. I didn’t
watch TV much.  But if I did turn it on, I treadmilled at the same time or I crocheted as I sat there, a mindless manual activity that silently integrated and stored what I had learned that day.  My Pandora stations kept my mood upbeat and moving forward as I rhythmically made mental lists of scientific factors or mathematical rules. And to wind down at night, I read a family-saga historical fiction that engaged my imagination and transported me to a world that had nothing to do with what I had studied that day; I went to sleep without the exam being the last thing on my mind.

ON MY LAST STUDY DAY, I skimmed through my notes for each subject, again breaking the task down into manageable pieces according to topic and time.  I highlighted with different colors things that I wanted to specifically remember and things that I wanted to double check in the text.  I wrote out a few notecards with things that I felt sure would be on the exam.  I eliminated pages of information that I confidently knew, thereby visibly truncating final review.

THE NIGHT BEFORE THE TEST, I stayed in a hotel close to the testing site which was about an hour away from my home. I took a practice drive through the unfamiliar neighborhood.  A friend and I went out for an amazing barbeque supper, laughing and talking for hours. I broke an outdated cardinal rule; I stopped studying! I didn’t get all stressed out that night or the following morning. I knew what I knew, and that was that. I did, however review the ANSWER pages of the practice tests; not to learn more facts, but to remind myself of HOW to THINK about the design of each question/answer set.

THE MORNING OF THE TEST, I felt like an athlete getting ready for a race. I had preplanned what I was going to eat, choosing foods to boost my stamina and alertness. I had read the rules and knew not to bring my cell-phone or any bags on site.My gear was gathered (#2 pencils, chewing gum, energy snack, water bottle, analog watch, two forms of I.D., the test admission receipt).  Wearing comfortable clothes and my favorite empowering perfume, I arrived early (good thing because there were 1400 other people parking on this hot day).

WHEN THE EXAM BOOKLET WAS PASSED OUT, I made friends with the answer sheet.  I picked it up, noticed that it was made from recycled paper (less glare), was printed in shades of blue (letters and numbers less likely to ‘float’), and that it had large spaces between lines  (enough room to place a tracking finger ).  I liked that alternate lines were shaded, and that there were fewer columns, also well-spaced on the page.   I paid attention to how many lines of answers were in each column (shorter columns on the front of the sheet).   Like I said, I made friends with the bubble sheet.  I took the exam calmly, keeping track of my time and progress, and occasionally taking sips of water which reminded me to breathe.

IMPORTANTLY, I WENT IN WITH A STRATEGY OF HOW TO APPROACH THE QUESTIONS. The rules stated that guessing was encouraged, no penalty for wrong answers. Whew! If a monkey can get 25% correct on a multiple choice test, certainly I could do better:

• a.        If I knew an answer right away, before even reading the four options, I figured that was most likely the correct answer, if it appeared as a choice. I still considered each other option quickly with an open mind and marked the question as one not to revisit.
• b.        If I had absolutely no clue about a question, I simply randomly guessed, not wasting time on trying to identify the best guess.  I marked that question as one not to waste any future time on.  The monkey strategy.
• c.        If I felt like I could get to the right answer with more time, I marked the question to come back to, but took a random guess before moving on. Modified monkey.  With time left over at the end, I re-considered the question and only changed my original answer if I could eliminate one of the choices.  Otherwise, there was no reason to change a perfectly good random answer.
• d.        If I could right away narrow the answers by eliminating at least one or two of the options, I made my best educated guess, and marked the question as one to be returned to at the end when I had more time to think about it.  Of those questions, I later changed only a few answers, trusting that my original best guess could not be improved upon.

WHY AM I SHARING ALL THIS DETAIL HERE? Because these were strategies that worked for me by helping me FOCUS productively during my study week and during the test itself.  Some tips I’ve learned through my involvement with the ADHD community of educators. Others I’ve developed intuitively over time and they work for me and others with whom I’ve shared.  Here’s a short list:

• Break tasks down into smaller components, both substance and time
• Take frequent breaks and remember to breathe
• Stay active to increase endorphins
• Do something creative to stimulate the synapses in brain
• Find your best study atmosphere, you may need noise while someone else needs quiet.
• Eat right and get plenty of sleep for both body and mind
• Chew gum if you are allowed
• Find the right chemical balance for your brain and refill that prescription
• Remember that having ADHD doesn’t mean that you are not smart.
• Seek out strategies, become aware of what works for you, share it

I feel like I passed the test, but won’t know for a few more weeks. Even without knowing the end result, I already feel successful.  I overcame a fear of tests and avoidance of numbers, a burden that I’ve carried for many years. I made use of proven and practical information about test-taking and ADHD and applied it to my own circumstances. What I’ve shared here works for both children and adults.  If you know someone who might benefit from any part of this information, please pass it along.

Brain foods for kids.

Debbie

Huh? What was the question?

The summer temptation to do nothing is common, whether or not ADHD plays a significant familial role.  Yet, ADHD doesn’t take a summer vacation, and ADHD families know that not having anything planned can be a disaster. It’s not just that nothing will get done, but that the sense of overwhelm permeates and overshadows any sense of relaxation. The habitual messages of “just get started,” “do something/anything” and “get organized” are always heard, even if not spoken; and the ADDer’s layer of perceived personal inadequacy becomes a mantel, a cloak of dread with no hope of improvement.   By the same token, most kids don’t want to be saddled with schedules, deadlines, and other obligations over the summer!

So, what’s the answer? BALANCE.

Parents can take this opportunity to help their ADHD children create reasonable expectations of what might be some good summer goals. As much as
possible, encourage the child to come up with the ideas. Perhaps have a list of suggestions ready to help guide the conversation. Make sure that the list contains both inherently enjoyable tasks, as well as some of those mundane chores that are not necessarily fun but that need to be accomplished. Balance.

Keep in mind that a long To Do list is daunting and unmanageable.  Select a handful of specific TASKS and create an appointment time on a specific day to get certain things done.

Maybe picking up clothes from the floor and putting them in the laundry basket needs to be done on Monday so that a friend can be invited for a sleepover on Tuesday. If you are available to be in the room with your child during laundry sorting, you can use this time to cut labels out of the shirts that itch his neck, make a charity pile of the items that she’s grown out of (wash before you donate!) or fold what’s clean and help your child put those items into the appropriate drawers (maybe next time s/he will know where they go?).

Pick a variety of TASKS. Set a timer for 15 minutes (or increments). Put on some music to keep the atmosphere positive. Chew gum to keep focus. Wear a hat in the house if it feels good. And when the appointed task is done, DO NOT immediately add on another, even if your child appears to be in a cooperative/productive mood.

Time's up.

Create the consistent practice that no scheduled Summer TASK, pleasant or mundane, will be longer than its scheduled time allotment, unless both child and parent agree. Help your child understand what 15 minutes feels like.  Set the timer again.

Many coaches suggest tying a specific reward to a specific task, sort of like putting the carrot in front of the donkey. Consider what might result if that donkey never gets to actually eat that carrot. What if that donkey isn’t interested in that particular carrot? Use summertime to learn more about what motivates your child and to reinforce the oft forgotten notion that completing a task feels good. For the ADHD child who has difficulty following-through and staying on-task at school, summer can be the chance to provide opportunities for feelings of success at getting things done “just because.”

Now is a good time to subscribe to two resources:  CHADD.org and ADDitude Magazine.  Add these to your summer reading list. You’ll be glad you did.

Stay cool and light-hearted,

Debbie

Debbie

To do is to be…Socrates

To be is to do…Sartre

Do-be-do-be-do…Sinatra

I remember way back to my daughter’s third grade teacher conference (circa 1998), when Mrs. Dalton told parents a new test was being developed that would be a high school graduation requirement for every student in the state. No way, we all thought. This state won’t get momentum built for a standardized test.  Even if it did, we were sure that kids with learning disabilities (including dyslexia and ADHD, with which her sixth-grade brother struggled) would be exempt.

Of course, we now know what happened.  Fortunately, my son graduated high school in 2005, before the AIMS was fully developed and required.

Arizona Department of Education guidelines now exist for Universal Test Administration Conditions which are available for all students, and Standard Accommodations which exist for students with IEP or 504 Plans, ELL, and injuries. It is important to note that unless a student has already been identified as needing an accommodation during instruction time in the school year, an accommodation will NOT be available for testing.

If your child has not yet been evaluated for an IEP or 504 Plan, it’s too late for this year’s test season.  But it’s not too late for the next one! Every grade level from 2-12 has a standardized test like the Stanford 10 or AIMS.  Use this month to educate yourself about what “high stakes” tests you can anticipate for the coming years.  And if your child does qualify, be sure to talk with your child’s teacher at least a week before the test to make sure that accommodations will be in place. AIMS testing takes place this year during the week of April 11.

Often students hear the word TEST and get all nervous about what grade or score they will get. Children who already feel bruised because they are differently abled learners can easily talk themselves into a state of panic often referred to as Test Anxiety or “testaphobia,” as my son labeled my description of myself facing timed tests as a student. Whoever invented the BUBBLE test was a  %@#$*&!

A great little book published by Scholastic is Be A Super Test-Taker, by Laurie Rozakis, Ph.D. Rozakis describes ways in which standardized tests can help students, parents, and teachers figure out what it is students know and don’t know (especially compared to peers across the state and country). She also points out that success on these tests can help students qualify for special programs, prizes, and other opportunities.

Still nervous? Rozakis provides concrete and useable tips for how to take tests even in elementary school. Beyond the good night’s sleep and nutritious breakfast, she leads the reader through the weeks and days prior to the test with guided exercises and practice tests for strengthening students’ brain power and ability to test.

Test taking is a life skill of our times. Often it’s not what you know, but how well you can demonstrate it.

Much of the test preparation advice for typical learners also applies to kids with ADHD.  However, kids with ADHD require supplemental advice. For instance:  READ the INSTRUCTIONS sounds easy enough, but for the ADHD student, that one step is really five, not including deciphering the meaning of the instruction and then picking the correct answer and filling in the correct answer bubble.  The ADHD student must first:

• FOCUS on the test itself, not what is on the lunch menu.
• SELECT the correct item requiring attention, eg: Use bar graph A to answer questions 26-29 and use bar graph B for questions 30 and 31.
• SUSTAIN attention long enough to remember what each bar graph means and which bar graph to use for which questions.
• RESIST DISTRACTIONS and ignore the flickering fluorescent light, the noisy fan and the kid with the cough.
• SHIFT attention to the next set of questions even if the previous questions are interesting.

(adapted from CHADD.org Parent-to-Parent Training Manual, May 2008)

Marc Ginsberg, founder and owner of A+ Tutoring and Test Prep, LLC has a master’s degree in special education and has been a certified math teacher in the Paradise Valley Unified School District for more than 17 years. He understands the various learning styles and frustrations that many students experience in today’s rapid information society.

“Standardized testing is a permanent phenomenon of our modern era that  K-12 schools, universities and even corporations routinely administer and use such resulting data to help make admission and hiring decisions,” he says. “These kinds of tests are easy to use because of the simple multiple choice format that makes it relatively fast to compare and rank subjects in an objective manner.”

Students in Arizona will spend hours this week taking practice tests prepared by ADE.  “Practicing test questions in a similar test format and setting to the real exam are critically important since students will be more likely to carry this experience of mastery over to the real test setting,” Ginsberg says. “Having students practice WRITING simple multiple choice TEST QUESTIONS can give them an idea of the problem solving process and possible solutions.” (Wow, what a great idea!)

Recently, I had the chance to talk with Marc and his wife Cheryl (co-owner) about how employing all of our senses can contribute to test-taking success. Olfactory memory (our sense of smell) is a powerful tool for cuing our minds (ADHD and otherwise) to retrieve information or to prompt a state of mental alertness. Here is a situation where having ADHD can actually be a plus, if your child’s ADHD is accompanied by “sensory sensitivity.” Marc recommends that even simple scents like body spray/deodorant and shampoo should be worn consistently during study/test preparation and the day of the test. “All of our senses can help study results transfer to the testing situation,” Ginsberg says. As he points out, for some students, the tactile sense of how fabric feels can be a powerful tool for igniting recollections (again a plus for the ADHD child with “sensory sensitivity”), similar to how some students associate certain colors with information retrieval.

Snacking on “brain foods” such as nuts, berries, and lean meats is another technique that can be used not only to generate mental prowess but also to trigger memory and associations acquired during study and practice testing.

Debbie

Dear Reader, I’ve really tried to find the funny side of AIMS….no luck so far, except the testaphobia quip contributed by my son whose humor and resiliency got him through school.

Maybe the best advice I can give is to remember this:

April Showers don’t need to bring AIMS tears.

As much as parents and teachers dislike ‘teaching to the test,’ the reality is that kids with ADHD will face all sorts of ‘tests’ in their lives.  Equip them, starting now, with the skills they need to persevere, to figure out what helps them get through tough times and to know that WHO THEY ARE is NOT a test score.

~Debbie

P.S.  Before I forget, or lose this link, Frank Barnhill, M.D. has this to say about and ADHD kids: “Any test can be made more interesting and sticky (stickiness is defined by something’s inherent tendency to maintain one’s attention) by including graphics, pertinent designs and key colors associated with the content. For example, it’s easier to remember an octagon is used for a stop sign, if the symbol is colored red. ADHD’ers definitely do better at verbal testing.”

While it is unlikely that AIMS will be adapted specifically to assist the differently abled learner, some of the testing tips that Barnhill suggests could quite possibly be implemented by an open-minded teacher in a classroom setting during the school year. “Remember, the purpose of testing is to teach and assess, not to fail.”

Just about every expert in the field talks about the low self-esteem of the ADHD child. Typically they are about 30 percent behind the curve of age-appropriate development in several areas, and they experience that difference between themselves and their peers without being able to explain it.  They just know that they are different and not as “sophisticated” (before they even know what that word means). Plus, who wouldn’t feel bad about themselves if they were constantly corrected, reprimanded, yelled at, put in time-out, punished with “natural consequences,” etc.?

“Misbehaving” is not necessarily attention-seeking or intentionally defiant behavior. For the ADHD child, it is often the result of lack of impulse control.  They don’t know that their pre-frontal cortex (the part of our brain that enables us to pause before we act) hasn’t developed as much as friends their age.  They often know that something is not appropriate behavior, but before they have a chance to self-censor…oops!…they’ve gone and done it again: interrupted, touched, written a “bad” word, blurted out, gotten out of their seat, reached out and grabbed, spoken too loudly, moved too fast, broke something, took something that isn’t theirs, wandered away from the group…..arghh!

What will that @#&*%  child do next?!

BEFORE that happens again, consider this two-pronged approach that I call being P.C. Just think Politically Correct,  and hopefully the alliteration will help you recall this approach that involves being POSITIVE and COMPASSIONATE. Before misbehavior occurs, find something Positive to say to that child.

Pre-load them with positive messages.

Look for opportunities to point out good moments of behavior. “Nice job waiting your turn.” “You were a really good sport about that.” “I like how you put away all your crayons when you were asked.” “Thank you for being polite.”

Practice pausing for a deep breath before you react to the frustrating moment that does occur, so that an automatic response of Compassion is what you feel first,  for that child and for you. Compassion for yourself because you feel guilty having unkind thoughts. Compassion for the child who hurts inside, not understanding why he can’t be good all the time and always makes you angry.

Before you try to change your ADHD child, try first to modify your own attitude.  Try to accept your child “as is.” Find ways to let your child know that you value him or her “just because.” Say that a hug from your child makes you feel good.

You will be amazed at the Positive things that you can notice about your ADHD child. The payoff is that as you experience the sense of Compassion for you both, you will begin to make room for new possibilities.

~ Debbie

New Year's Resolutions

This time of year we are inundated by columnists proposing lists of how to make lists of resolutions.  Most contain at least a few good ideas.  As we get (older and) wiser, perhaps like me, you have come to realize that it is up to each individual to pick and choose what advice to embrace  and what advice just doesn’t match our skill set.

Let’s face it, if it has TOO many steps, TOO many rules and should’s, it’s just not gonna happen.  WHO can sustain the motivation to wait three months to see reults of a new diet, or even three weeks to establish a new ‘habit’?!

Last evening, a friend asked me how my blog was going.  My response was something like what I just said above.  She smiled, knowingly, and said (paraphrasing) “How about if you just wrote one line like what you just said.” Yikes, I wish that I could remember exactly what brilliant quote I had just uttered, but it was something like this, “It’s all about the process, not the product.  All I have to do is write SOMETHING!  Just one line would be sufficient to fulfill my committment to post before the end of the year.”

So here it is folks.  This is my one line.  With kudos and apologies to my fellow ADHD bloggers and professional organizers…just do it.  Ok, thanks to Nike too.  Seriously, this is what I believe. 

You’re never ready for what you are about to do.

You just do it.  That makes you ready.

In case you still are craving more detailed guidance, click here to read what Leo Babauta has to say on the subject of setting goals.  What he writes is suitable for greeting the New Year or any time at all.  Pay special attention to #11 on his list of further reading:  Don’t Worry So Much About Long-term Goals. Focus on the process, not the end point.  Sound familiar?

Best wishes to all for a fabulous new year filled with joy and accomplishment, love and laughter.

Debbie~

Debbie

I am accustomed to seeing sports news making headlines, and confess to skipping over most of the stories unless it is something inspirational about a player off the field, and that is what got my attention about Lawrence Guy.  I was hooked immediately in Haller’s opening  paragraph about this player who, two years ago as a freshman, was blowing his opportunities for both an education and playing college football.  The story began with a meeting that involved Guy, the associate athletic director, a learning specialist, and his father.  Talk about a Special Team!

Every kid who tackles the challenges of ADHD needs a team.  Parents, classroom teachers, Special Ed teachers, Resource teachers are the typical attendees at SST or IEP meetings.  Often the school psychologist or a private therapist may attend, as well as the school nurse or OT specialist.  In Guy’s case the team included an athletic coach.

The stigma of  being seen just walking into the Disability Resource Center at ASU had been daunting for Guy.  Now, the time had come for him to confront the ADHD and dyslexia that had disrupted his concentration and reading for years.  He’d gotten through his freshman season with the help of  teammate Luis Vasquez who shared notes with him and quizzed him about formations and assignments on the field.   But now it was time for him to “learn how to learn” as his father is quoted. 

He needed to see that the instruction wasn’t just background noise.  It was a framework for juggling football and academics, a framework for success.  (Haller)

His brother Chris moved to the Valley and became part of Guy’s goal-setting team.  Together the brothers clarified Guy’s goals and established the objectives to achieve those goals.  Guy rededicated himself to his academics with guidance from the learning center, and developed his leadership skills with his football teammates and other student-athletes.  This summer at Tempe High School he shared his experience with learning disabilities and decision making with at-risk youth attending the “Summer Bridges” program. The message he delivered was simple:  “Any obstacle can be cleared, but you can’t do it alone.  Ask for help.  Work hard.” (Haller)

ADHD is not a life sentence of doom, though it’s a challenge to be sure.  Surround yourself and your child with people who care.  Your team may include the types of professionals described above, family members and friends.

While it’s tempting to want to hide from a label for fear of being stigmatized, keeping it a secret almost never works out.

Encourage your child to be who s/he is.  Nurture strengths and talents.  ADHD doesn’t just affect your child in the classroom or at home.  Involve an athletic coach, art teacher, music or dance instructor, martial arts sensei, drama director, clergy or youth director at your place of worship or community center.

Keep a sense of humor.  Be open to new strategies and resources.  Remember that it is not necessary to posses a title to be a mentor. Perhaps some day your child will be someone else’s inspiration.  Lawrence Guy is a player to watch on the field and to learn from off the field.  Together we can tackle anything.

~Debbie

**Sponsored by The Pacific Club IMPACT Foundation, the award is given to a player who exhibits the same characteristics pro-football Hall of Fame member Ronnie Lott embodied during his distinguished career: Integrity, Maturity, Performance, Academics, Community and Tenacity.

If your kids are driving you crazy right about now, you probably can’t wait to send them back to school where they can be somebody else’s responsibility for six hours a day.  But if you enjoyed a lazy go-with-flow type of summer, you might not look forward to the demands of a new school year and the complicated schedules of a busy family involved with academics (think homework and class projects with deadlines), sports (think practices, games, uniforms and snacks), clubs and other extra-curricular activities (think carpool, ever-changing locations and supplies).

The elementary school years are a time for learning how to exist in the world around us.  Sure, the three R’s are important (reading, writing, and arithmetic…which by the way are an R-W-A combination, somebody couldn’t spell!).  For the AD/HD family, there is a fourth R.   Routine.

Just about every professional organizer or life coach has something to say about establishing routines, especially at this time of year, and I’m gonna do the same.  The difference is, I invite you to tackle ‘routine’ realistically. I mean, let’s face it, there are details about life that other people just seem to get, that are maybe not so obvious for everyone else.

Have a family dinner, set regular bedtimes, do homework when the kids are not tired, set out clothes the night before, eat a healthy breakfast, pack a nutritious lunch….who can do all of this?

My advice is to approach setting routines by focusing on one area of challenge at a time.  It is unrealistic to expect to make changes in every part of the day all at once.  Successive Approximations is one of my favorite social psych theories.  It’s all about shaping behavior.  Look it up.  The application here is to get closer and closer to establishing routine by experiencing the rewards that come with every baby-step that you take toward that goal.  My friend Gayle talks about ‘celebrating small triumphs.’

Let’s just talk about MORNINGS for now.  Readers familiar with this blog know that I include at least one new link for a resource with every posting.  Check this out:  Recently I corresponded with Lisa Coatti, co-owner of Out the Door Chore Cards chorecards.com.

In response to my questions, Lisa told me, “I developed this system for my son when he was about 4 (he is now 9).    Before we learned he had AD/HD (diagnosed last year), I only knew he needed some different methods to help him (and me) along so I created this.     This system is a great help to him, but is also perfect for my other two children that do not have a diagnosis.   It meets the needs of many!”

Here’s an example of some of the tasks that can be selected for your personalized Chore Card.  Each card has a defined chore both in words and a visual.  The child turns over each velcroed card as a task is completed to see a happy Good Job message from Chore Dog.

Unless a parent feels it’s important, it doesn’t matter what order the cards/chores are in, as long as the tasks are completed.  The benefit is that you know that all of the necessary chores got done when you see all the smiling Chore Dogs.  Lisa literally says to her children, “Did you flip your cards?” She adds, “I don’t have to nag about each individual chore, and better yet, they don’t have to hear me nag!”

Chores get done without saying a word.

I’m speechless.

Wishing my readers a very special 2010 back to school season.

~~Debbie